What If You Are Not Broken?

Never Believe Everything You Hear

Many people live believing that something is wrong with them.

They may struggle to stay organised, begin several things at once, forget important details, become easily overwhelmed or find it difficult to complete what they started.

Others may describe them as inconsistent, disorganised, distracted or even lazy.

Eventually, they may begin to believe those descriptions themselves.

But what if you are not broken?

What if your mind simply processes information differently?

Why I Asked This Question

I have always been someone with many ideas, they flow from my being like water, at first I was always excited about my ideas, but as time went on and the years went by I began feeling shame.

Why, because I'd start things and never complete them, I'd tell people what I'm working on and never finish, its easy for shame to appear.

It's taken some real inner work on my part to shake off the shame, now I celebrate the fact that I can see possibilities quickly. I now embrace my creativity, my ability to teach with clarity, the joy of encouraging others, developing new programmes and discovering new ways of doing things.

Yes, I own no one except God an explanation of the life I live.

This does not mean I don't become overwhelmed from time to time, because I do, its called life and there will always be times where you can't handle things.

What do I do? I take a break from things to recalibrate my system. I've learnt to not keep pushing myself till I break in exhaustion. 

I now understand that sometimes I might begin with excitement, and lose momentum, trying to maintain the same level of attention over a long period is difficult, as I might have several projects open at the same time, with each one feeling important, so I stop, and take a break, this might be a few hours, a few days or a number of weeks, depending on the importance or urgency of what I'm working on.

For many years, I could easily have interpreted this behaviour as a personal failure, what changed?

Learning about neurodiversity, that's what changed and it taught me that I'm not broken, my brain is just wired differently or should I say uniquely to a style that brings out the best in me in my own way. 

What Is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is the idea that people’s brains do not all work in the same way.

Some people process information, attention, emotions, communication and sensory experiences differently from what is considered typical.

This can include people with ADHD, ADD, Autism, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia and other neurological differences.

It does not mean there are no challenges. The challenges can be very real, I know everyone faces challenges, its just neurodiverse people experience more than others.

However, it also means that a person may have strengths that are easily overlooked as a neurodiverse person.

They may be:

• highly creative;
• able to notice connections others miss;
• deeply passionate about subjects that interest them;
• strong problem-solvers;
• excellent communicators;
• capable of producing a large amount of work when fully engaged.

The same mind that creates challenges in one environment may flourish in another.

What Stood Out To Me

I began to realise that I do not need more criticism, I need better systems. I definitely do not need to force myself to work like everyone else.

I just have to understand how I work best.

For example, I often do better when:

• a task is broken into small steps;
• I know exactly what the next action is;
• I am not trying to complete several large projects at once;
• I can see my plan written down;
• there is a deadline or someone is expecting the work;
• I give myself permission to do less.

This understanding does not remove personal responsibility. It helps me take responsibility more wisely and put things in place that reduces or eliminates the associated challenge that leads to stress and abandonment.

I am learning that self-awareness is not an excuse, it's a tool.

When we understand ourselves, we can begin creating environments and systems that help us make progress.

Instead of saying:

“Why can’t I be more disciplined?”

We can ask:

“What structure would make this easier for me to complete?”

Instead of saying:

“I never finish anything.”

We can ask:

“What is the one thing I need to finish before beginning something else?”

That small change in questioning can produce a very different result.

Do You Still Feel Broken?

Becoming a new version of yourself will not happen overnight

You may have spent years trying to become a version of yourself that works well for everyone else.

Perhaps it is time to understand the version of you that already exists.

You may still need support, boundaries, discipline and better habits.

But you do not have to build your future from a place of shame.

You can build it from greater understanding, you are not necessarily broken.

You may simply be learning how your mind works and what it needs in order to thrive.

I love teaching and my specialty is teaching financial education, understanding myself better helped me put in place a strategy to run my Lifestyle Budgeting Sessions in my own way.

A Question To Consider?

What would change if you stopped judging yourself and became curious about how you work best?

Being able to answer this question could bring greater understanding of yourself, and enable you put in place systems and strategies to empower you to bring out all the good you have to live better and serve others better.

I hope this post has inspired you to answer the question and say, I'm not broken.